Maternity photography is definitely one of my favorites, I do have 4 kiddos so baby mamas, are close to my heart ;) I love to celebrate our beautiful miracle making bodies with lovely photographs. Someday we will enjoy looking back on how incredible this season of life was and how truly amazing our bodies are. This is Kara and her mini Remy. Enjoy!
Now that I'm divorced, I have this interesting perspective on love, sex, relationship... You know what they say about hind sight... There's a clarity to how I see those things now. I guess that happens when the emotions of it all are far removed. When you're, married, sex often becomes a chore that you rarely have time or energy for. We're quick to assume that our husband's needs will be there tomorrow or the next day. Today is just not the day, babe. Maybe next week. And it's easy to take for granted that they're locked in for the long haul with us so showing up our best is optional. This may not represent all of us. But I've done a lot of listening and this is the story for many of us. You married him as one person but he's now married to another version.
Here's some of my theories. I think we show up in our marriages half of a person because we are so busy taking care of people, giving birth, making meals..... we excuse ourself from being our own person and caring for our own needs. We allow ourself to get lost. No one asked us to do that. We do that. And then years later, we wake up, look in the mirror and dislike what we see. If that's not you, don't read this. If there's some truth to this for you then hear me out?
No one asked you to loose yourself to make everyone else's world go 'round. You did that. Which is good news. You can fix it. I did this in my marriage. It didn't turn out well for me. Where ever you went, you can find your self again. I'm speaking from experience. There's no one like you so if you're not being you, then you're missing.
If you think you don't have to show up intimately in your marriage often, you should probably check his phone records... My therapist told me that so you can thank or blame him, depending on how you took it. I realize that there are unfortunate circumstances in some relationships that have to be worked through. I’m not talking about those. Healing in the area of intimacy is so so difficult and incredibly precious. I respect the process and this post isn’t about that.
Your husband loves you. Your husband needs you. Your husband wants you. Your "flaws" are not flaws to him. There just part of you. And I have a feeling you spend twenty thousand times more effort hating on and worrying about your body, your age, your wardrobe than he does... I think he might love your more than you love you. But, what if that changed? What would happen if that changed. Think about it. Stop reading this and think about what would change in your life...
Now, what do you want to do about it? Do you want to put on some yoga pants and actually do yoga? Do you want to get a sitter and take your man on a date? Do you want to throw out every pair of worn undies you have and fill your drawers with pretty panties? Maybe buy a new bra from somewhere other than target and see how you feel. Do something to interrupt whatever isn't working. Loving yourself is loving your husband. Loving yourself is loving your kids. It is in no way selfish. If you got your hair done before you had kids. Why wouldn't you get your hair done after? I'm pretty sure your man goes to the barber still.
I write all of this because I have been there and I believe there is something better for us. I believe that we can see ourself differently and change our relationships because of it. I believe that when our kids see us living in love, they thrive with joy and security. Maybe boudoir photography isn't the answer for you. Maybe it's a start. I can guarantee you this: A boudoir session with me will cause you to feel liberated, empowered and lovely. And I'm sure you already know how it will make your man feel. I think he'd feel cared for and considered. I think he'd feel loved and heard. I think it would jumpstart something really great in your marriage. Take some time and think about it. If you're intimidated by those extra 15 pounds, put your Nike's on and get to work. If you need a wax and a tan, I've got a girl. If you just need a friend with you, bring her. I'll bring the Champagne. Consider it. I'll be here when you're ready.
There's a conversation happening out there and I want to join to give my take. The topic is beauty and how every women is beautiful regardless of her body shape, size.... etc. I just don't think that's fully true. Before you blow a gasket and shame me, read on...
Value and beauty are two very different things. I believe that every person holds value simply because they were created by a loving and intentional God. You held value even before you were conceived. I know this because God says He knew us before we were in our mother's womb. He took the time to know us and then give us a life and a family and a place in the world. That itself gives us value. We all posess it, even if we don't live according to it. Even if we live cheap. Even if we live low. We are of such great value that the price He paid for us was death. (I'm a Christian. This is my personal belief based on the Bible. You may see it otherwise. )
With that said, Beauty is different. I think there is the world's standard of beauty, there's the standard we make up in our head, and then there's true beauty. I'm not that interested in the world's standard. It's unrealistic, plastic, unattainable. And the one we make up in our head is usually influenced by the world and leads to comparison, highlighting all the ways we fall short of the photoshopped images we are inundated with. The beauty I'm interested in talking about is the truest one. The beauty that shines from the inside out. The beauty that is enhanced and radiates when we care for it, cherish it. I think the most beautiful people are the ones who are just as lovely inside as they are out. The ones who care for the body, mind and heart. The ones who smile with confidence and walk with grace. Those come in all shapes and sizes. What I don't think is beautiful is a girl who wants to feel lovely but doesn't want to love herself. The girl who envy's fit people but will not work out. The girl who feels insecure about herself but won't accept a compliment when it's given.
I love the current movement to empower women and celebrate beauty. But here's the thing; no garden tends to it's self. You're gonna have to care for your health to be and maintain beauty. It's a gift that isn't promised forever. It ages, it fades, it stretches... And when it does, what's left?
So let's be honest. While there are sooooo many curvy beautiful women, soooo many 75 year old beautiful women, sooooo many dark skinned, light skinned, freckly skinned beautiful women out there, it's the women who take care of them self that shine. And like I said before, we all have value, but beauty is a gift that some of us care for and some of us don't. I want to celebrate the women who care and encourage the women who haven't figured out how to yet. Ultimately, loving our self is important. Where ever you rate your self on the beauty scale, just be sure to love your self.
Boudoir is so beautiful! Maybe your experience of boudoir hasn't been tasteful and lovely so beautiful isn't how you'd describe it. I have a lovely gallery and an instagram account dedicated to just how beautiful it truly is.
Boudoir is beautiful because women are beautiful. While we are all unique and our beauty is unique, we were all created intentionally with beauty. In fact, it was femininity, beauty, nurture, tenderness.... that God needed to complete creation when he formed us from Adam's rib. Our beauty completed mankind making humans in the image of God. That's an incredible fact to understand, especially if we don't actually see ourselves as beautiful. Our struggle to comprehend that fact doesn't change it's truth. Women are made intentionally to be uniquely beautiful, feminine, tender, lovely, nurturing....and so many other things. I dare you to name them about yourself. How did God make you uniquely beautiful? Say it out loud.
Those fore mentioned attributes sound so fragile, fleeting or weak. I assure you there is nothing fragile about your loveliness. Have you noticed the world we live in? Beauty is assaulted constantly, in images, lyrics, language... You have to be one strong babe to keep and embrace your beauty. Strong is beautiful. Brave is beautiful. Driven is beautiful. Self respecting is beautiful. And let's be honest, we are all fragile sometimes, even weak on occasion. That's part of our humanity, not our beauty or so called lack there of.
Your beauty is seen in your eyes when you attentively listen to your kids tell you about their day. It beams from your smile, glows on your skin. It's not hidden when you are bent over a sink washing dishes in your yoga pants and top knot. Your beauty is not lost when you gain 20 lbs after birthing children and live in the fog of motherhood for 5 years. It doesn't age but it is perfected, and when you forget that it's there and so does your husband, I promise you, your beauty is alive and well.
I will tell you though with much conviction... You have to care for your beauty. You have to respect it and nurture it. If you do, it will flourish. I would even dare to say that when a women acknowledges, embraces, celebrates, respects and nurtures her beauty, relationships change. Futures change. Marriages change. Our daughters are changed. Beauty is truly that powerful!
This is why I photograph Boudoir. Because if my images have any small part in this journey for a woman, then I have much to be proud of. Boudoir is beautiful. You are beautiful.