california phtographer

Love, Sex and Boudoir... | Visalia California Boudoir Photography

Now that I'm divorced, I have this interesting perspective on love, sex, relationship... You know what they say about hind sight... There's a clarity to how I see those things now. I guess that happens when the emotions of it all are far removed. When you're, married, sex often becomes a chore that you rarely have time or energy for. We're quick to assume that our husband's needs will be there tomorrow or the next day. Today is just not the day, babe. Maybe next week.  And it's easy to take for granted that they're locked in for the long haul with us so showing up our best is optional. This may not represent all of us. But I've done a lot of listening and this is the story for many of us. You married him as one person but he's now married to another version. 

Here's some of my theories. I think we show up in our marriages half of a person because we are so busy taking care of people, giving birth, making meals..... we excuse ourself from being our own person and caring for our own needs. We allow ourself to get lost. No one asked us to do that. We do that. And then years later, we wake up, look in the mirror and dislike what we see. If that's not you, don't read this. If there's some truth to this for you then hear me out?

No one asked you to loose yourself to make everyone else's world go 'round. You did that. Which is good news. You can fix it. I did this in my marriage. It didn't turn out well for me. Where ever you went, you can find your self again. I'm speaking from experience. There's no one like you so if you're not being you, then you're missing. 

If you think you don't have to show up intimately in your marriage often, you should probably check his phone records... My therapist told me that so you can thank or blame him, depending on how you took it. I realize that there are unfortunate circumstances in some relationships that have to be worked through. I’m not talking about those. Healing in the area of intimacy is so so difficult and incredibly precious. I respect the process and this post isn’t about that.

Your husband loves you. Your husband needs you. Your husband wants you. Your "flaws" are not flaws to him. There just part of you. And I have a feeling you spend twenty thousand times more effort hating on and worrying about your body, your age, your wardrobe than he does... I think he might love your more than you love you. But, what if that changed? What would happen if that changed. Think about it. Stop reading this and think about what would change in your life... 

Now, what do you want to do about it? Do you want to put on some yoga pants and actually do yoga? Do you want to get a sitter and take your man on a date? Do you want to throw out every pair of worn undies you have and fill your drawers with pretty panties? Maybe buy a new bra from somewhere other than target and see how you feel. Do something to interrupt whatever isn't working. Loving yourself is loving your husband. Loving yourself is loving your kids. It is in no way selfish. If you got your hair done before you had kids. Why wouldn't you get your hair done after? I'm pretty sure your man goes to the barber still. 

I write all of this because I have been there and I believe there is something better for us. I believe that we can see ourself differently and change our relationships because of it. I believe that when our kids see us living in love, they thrive with joy and security. Maybe boudoir photography isn't the answer for you. Maybe it's a start. I can guarantee you this: A boudoir session with me will cause you to feel liberated, empowered and lovely. And I'm sure you already know how it will make your man feel. I think he'd feel cared for and considered. I think he'd feel loved and heard. I think it would jumpstart something really great in your marriage. Take some time and think about it. If you're intimidated by those extra 15 pounds, put your Nike's on and get to work. If you need a wax and a tan, I've got a girl. If you just need a friend with you, bring her. I'll bring the Champagne. Consider it. I'll be here when you're ready. 

Alexis + Blake | Visalia California Engagement

Meet Alexis and Blake. The day I got to photograph these lovers was about as hot as Alexis is in that yellow romper and those blue shoes. It was literally smoking outside. We spent time shooting in the studio to keep from the heat and I'm so glad we did because those are my favorite images from the day. We laughed the entire time. Like belly laughed. I think there was conversations about inappropriate things... vegetables... farts. Yep. It was a good time. I can't wait for their wedding this fall for more laughs and dirty jokes!

Zack + Saskia | A Vibrant and Modern Kingsburg California Wedding

After an adventurous engagement session in the Cambria Mountains, I knew this wedding would be a great one. But it was more than that. This wedding was absolutely breath taking. Amazing details, fabulous vendors, and the bride and groom of course were stunning. It took place on the Kings River in Kingsburg Ca. in the beautiful backyard of the groom's parents. The most memorable detail was an oversized circular swing covered thick in florals and foliage. It was epic and made for some amazing photographs. Take a look at all the goodness from Zack and Saskia's vibrant and modern river side wedding... 

Carly and Mark... together forever | Central Valley California Engagement Session | Visalia Wedding and Lifestyle Photography

Together forever, that's what we sign up for when we say yes to marriage. It's not an easy road but it's a good road. If you asked me how the H... two imperfect people can even do that I'd tell you this... Love well and be lovable. Respect and be respectable. Do this, and you'll be golden. 

These two say yes to forever this fall. I'm excited for their adventure together. 

x- kel