Boudoir is Vulnerable

There's nothing more vulnerable than laying your self bare before a camera and another person, All in the effort to cultivate intimacy. But vulnerability in any form can be scary. It's risky taking the chance of being rejected while giving your heart, your body, your mind, your friendship... to someone you care about. I think we were made to be vulnerable because we were made to be known. Why else would it be in our nature to be married, why else would we naturally crave community, friendship? Vulnerability is a gift. 

Boudoir is vulnerable because you are capturing yourself in a photograph the way you want your man to see you. You are creating an intimate moment and letting it live on forever in a picture. Without words, you're saying " Here I am, all of me." You're inviting your person to see you as beautiful, sexy, lovable... Risking that they'll receive you that way. What if they don't? Oh but what if they do!? Boudoir is beautiful and vulnerable. 

Without words, you’re saying, “ Here I am, all of me.”


I recently did my own boudoir session with another photographer. I'm single so no one is receiving my images but me. Being vulnerable in this situation meant allowing my self to acknowledge and celebrate my own beauty and 40 year old mom bod.  It also allowed me to feel what my clients experience. I have a real appreciation for women who trust me with their boudoir sessions.

In the context of an intimate relationship, vulnerability is not just important, it's a necessary gift to our partner. They need to know us just as much as we need to be known. They need to see us just as much as we need to be seen. So what is so intimidating about being vulnerable? It's the risk of rejection, which is the the biggest fear of humanity but especially women. Our thoughts sound like this: "What if I give my self and he doesn't want me? What if he doesn't think I'm beautiful? What if he sees my stretch marks, belly fat, wrinkles, scars, hairy legs, mom boobs...." you fill in the blank. We fear our imperfections, our shortcomings, our weaknesses, our past, our lack... will make us unlovable so we hide. We withhold. We run away. And our relationship is then starving, desperate for the very thing we're afraid to give; ourself. 

The truth is, he likely saw all of those things long before he married you and chose you anyway. Or he's seen them since and is still with you. He's see's your mom boobs and they're still boobs. Just boobs, all men love boobs regardless of their shape. Stop overthinking it. Men love sex with the one they love. I'm pretty sure your man isn't going to let a few extra lbs or wrinkles get in the way of making love. Sex is too important to them for that. They just want to be with you. All of you. Not the shy, turn the lights off, black out the windows, close your eyes, leave your shirt on kind of you. They want the you that's confident, fully present, ready to be known, seen, heard, felt,  enjoyed. Your man just wants you. So give him you. Give him you in the bedroom, give him you at the breakfast table, give him you on date night... and most definitely give him you in beautiful boudoir photographs! Always give him you. 

If you're interested in boudoir but not sure, let's chat. I'd love to answer your questions, show you the studio, and put your mind at ease. Call me!