Why Boudoir? Why photograph women in minimal to no clothing? Why encourage sensuality and seduction? How do you explain this to your daughter? How do you explain this to your sons? These are all questions that people have asked and I have even asked myself. I think it's important that anyone interested in Boudoir Photography with me knows the answers to those questions. So I'm happy to give you my story...
There's a bit of a backstory that plays a part in why I LOVE photographing Boudoir. Having worked through a good amount of abandonment issues, major body insecurities, a lot of self sabotage, a brief eating disorder, and divorce by way of adultery, I have figured out that it is a privilege to be a women. There are incredibly beautiful things about how we're created and meant to live. We have so much power and authority in this world, but most of us just haven't been taught how to live in that power and authority or we don't believe it to be true. We accept a standard that the world has set for us and we focus on how far we fall short of it. After overcoming some tough stuff, I'm realizing how unfair that is to myself.
I think confidence is beautiful. Women who are comfortable in their own skin are so much more fun to be around. I'm drawn to women who believe in themselves and their abilities. Not all of us live in this reality every day though. We have bad days or bad years even. I've had a few. Someone lies to us and we believe them, so our world is thrown off it's axis and recovering is long and hard. This world of comparison we live in isn't the easiest to navigate either. With all of these challenges and more... I can't help but want to speak and capture truth. Truth about your worth, truth about your unique beauty, truth about love. I want to encourage women to see them self with gracious eyes and care for their body and heart. Whatever condition or shape you are in is not connected to your worth. You, on your worst day, with your worst attitude, and at your highest weight are as important and valuable as any other day. With that said, you've got one heart, one mind, and one body. Caring for it and honoring it is so important. If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, do the work to change it. Change your heart, change your body or change your mind. Whatever isn't working for you, change it. Don't be comfortable in the mess, it's not serving you well and regret is the only thing you'll be left with. This journey is unique to every women and I am so happy to cheer you on as you navigate it.
The question of how do I explain this to my kids has come up in a few different conversations. My answer for now is simple. My boys are too young and this is really just none of their business. I keep my images away from them and it's a non issue. Someday I may have to explain. By that time they will already know that women are lovely and worth respecting, honoring and celebrating. They'll know how powerful and strong women are because they are raised by one. I model for them what it means to be a women and how every women should be treated regardless if she deserves it or not. My job of capturing all of that in a photograph will make sense and I'm not sure I'll have much explaining to do. But again, we are a very long way away from that conversation. For now, I will protect their eyes from anything that they are not ready for. As for my daughter, we talk about the very same things and how they apply to her 9 year old self. She's only recently learned that this is something I do. She had some questions, I gave her the age appropriate answers and kept it simple. She knows that I'm a champion for women and wives. She knows that somethings are for adults and none of her concern. She knows that I love God and make my decisions with Godly intent and purpose. And honestly, she's not that interested in my work unless it's her own photo shoot ;)
Speaking of God. Where does this fit in to Christianity? Well, when a woman chooses to love herself through beautiful photographs and gift her husband with confidence, I'd say that's healthy. Sensuality and seduction are not bad when they happen between husband and wife. Intimacy can be challenging. We've got kids, and work, and busy schedules.... sometimes we need a little help. I truly believe that a healthy intimate relationship gives life to every other part of your relationship. Your kids need to see you be loved well and they need to see you love well. That's how they will know how to do relationships when they are older.
So this is my why. This is the story of what Boudoir Photography is to me. It's not for everyone. I'm ok with that. But if it's for you, I'd love to have you in the studio and share a glass of champagne with you while we take pretty pictures and talk girl talk.
Here's a few words from some brave gals who enjoyed their Boudoir experience...